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What it really means….

You feel the haze start to come over you. It starts at the top of your brain and it’s almost like you can see the shade being pulled down. Slowly, you feel your body start to feel heavy. Sluggish. Your mind is now foggy and as much as you try to sort out your thoughts- you just can’t. Everything somehow feels….grey. Your vision gets fuzzy and nothing is making sense. People are talking to you and you don’t know what they’re saying. You feel yourself fall deeper. You’re slipping now. You can’t focus. You can’t think. You can’t move. You can’t feel your limbs now. Your tongue is numb and suddenly? You feel like you’re drifting above yourself. You start rocking yourself slowly, but you don’t do it consciously. You feel the twitches starting…your eyes close. You realize that if you don’t get sugar in you soon, you’ll pass out. And. Not. Wake. Up

THIS is type one diabetes. Not the Big Mac like society would like to have everyone believe. That is what it means to be T1D. It’s scary. It’s painful. It’s life threatening. It’s not a cupcake. It’s not a big gulp soda. It’s a war we fight everyday to survive. A war we didn’t initiate. A war we didn’t sign up for. It choose us. Just like other diseases…except Diabetes is somehow… a joke.

Imagine if we joked about cancer the way people joke about diabetes. Imagine the stares you’d get, the nasty comments you’d receive. Imagine the tears as it hit home with people. The looks of disgust and people telling you “you’re horrible”. Cancer is a disease. It doesn’t hold prejudice against age, race, gender, or ice cream flavor preference. T1D is a disease. It doesn’t hold prejudice against age, race, gender, or ice cream flavor preference. So where’s the difference? What makes it okay and socially acceptable to joke about Diabetes?

How did we get so damn lucky?

Not only do we get to fight for our lives daily but we get to hear the cackles, the insults, the plain ignorance of the general public, and all we can do is take it. Or try to educate them. Right? But let’s be 100% honest… who has ever educated someone on T1D and been met with genuine interest. Genuine understanding. And if you were, do you think they stopped the jokes and comments? Or did they walk away from you and continue their life.

It’s a pretty horrible trait we humans have isn’t it? Things don’t truly hit home to us- until, they hit home. Unfortunately, I am far too aware that chances of my kids or my friends’ kids being diagnosed with T1D. When I bathe my children at night, and run the washcloth over their innocent arms, I’m terrified to one day see those arms stained with bruises from injections, pumps, CGms…

Yet… the jokes don’t stop…

You feel the dry mouth setting in and your throat is so dry it’s raw. You don’t have enough spit to keep your tongue wet and talking feels laborous. Your body aches and your insides feel… dry. You feel like you’re drying up from the inside out even though you don’t know how that’d be possible. The effort it takes to raise your arm is intense and every time you move your head, it’s as though you have just run a marathon. You’re peeing. And peeing. And peeing and nothing can quench your thirst. You drink more and more and yet as soon as the liquid is halfway down your throat – the dryness is back. You know if you close your eyes to long the DKA can take you. Chances are, if it takes you…it won’t give you back…

…but let’s laugh at the “funny” memes of Diabetes…

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