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Getting Over the Pump Slump

“Pump” had always been a four letter word to me. The thought of having a machine attached to me 24/7 seemed a fate worse than death. Or so I thought, until my type 1 diabetes was out of control and death (or at least more complications) didn’t seem so far off. For over fourteen years I was the poster child for anti-pump living and didn’t see that changing. I was content with carrying around my insulin, whipping it out of my purse, injecting, shoving it back into my bag and continuing my daily routine.  Problem was that even with multiple glucose tests and multiple injections of both fast acting and 24 hour insulin daily- I’d get sick. A lot.  I mean, a lot a lot. And baaad. I’d seen 3 endocrinologists and countless internal specialists trying to help bring down my A1C’s and get a better handle on this faceless enemy that seemed out to destroy me.  I’d left almost every visit with angry tears rolling down my face because I would get yelled at for my glucose numbers.  Truth is, it’s not that I was sneaking cake! I wasn’t skipping injections! I was trying my best and no one beside the people who saw me struggle everyday would believe that.  That is- until I met “Dr. Miracle”. I’m not going to lie, when I was sitting waiting in his office for my appointment, I had everything but good thoughts in my head. I was already picturing this visit going horribly, envisioning what he’d yell at me and could already see me getting frustrated and wanting to walk out. You know what? None of that happened. Dr. Miracle sat and listened as I showed him my log book, told him about my gastroperesis, and that I needed help. He looked at me like no other doctor before and told me we’d make changes, get my numbers under better control and everything would be okay. I was stunned. There was no yelling, no force-feeding me material, and no condescending tones. He asked how I felt about the pump and for the first time in my life- I was comfortable talking about it. He helped me through my hold-ups with the pump, gave me material to read, made his suggestions but told me it was ultimately my choice.  When I left his office that day I was crying. Not angry tears, but grateful ones. I finally had a doctor who I knew would stand by me and help me get my life back. By the end of the day I had decided on a pump and was warming up to the idea of a continuous glucose monitor. I realized it wasn’t the pump I had been so scared of. It was being scared of such a change without a doctor who understood me. It took one doctor talking to me for one visit to change my whole perception of pumps forever. Now I have a different four letter word in my head: LIFE.

#a1c #insulinpump

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