Wellllllll we visited Riker’s Island recently. Yeeaaa, THAT Riker’s Island. Would I have ever guessed I’d go there? Big. Fat. No. In fact, I most likely would’ve said “hah! Never!” If asked. Buuut there I was…. When I was in the hospital for having my son, one of the nurses asked if I liked being on my pump and explained she’d been trying for years to get her sister to try. “I’d never go back to shots” I remember telling her. I love Ollie. He’s the little robot leach I never

Well…. this post comes to you live from the ICU. Ugh. Been in the ICU for about 16 hours now… after finally heading to the ER after 3 days of sugars being wonky. Annnnnd by wonky I mean,  i would go from a good ol sugar of 127 and then BAM drop down to 27 in the middle of the night.  Then I’d shoot up to 300s *even when* I wouldn’t gorge on candy and carbs like I wanted to. So now, here I sit. And wait. And wait. Annnnnnd wait. And it’s frustrating!! I try to be patient, espe

Anyway- WHAHOOOOOOOO 20 YEARS! This was a big one for one. Two decades worth of emotions: anger, sadness, hate, bitterness, and then – understanding, calmness, peace and down right proud, all went through me as I drove down to West Virginia to see my brother and my nephew. It was a 10 hour trip that we decided since I was beginning after a full work day, I should stop at the halfway point and get a hotel. Well, this was good and bad: Good- because I probably shouldn’t drive t

I’m currently sitting in the waiting room of my dad’s first Physical Therapy appointment after his hip replacement. I’m currently sitting here with tears in my eyes because there are few things I can think of that get me as upset as I get than my dad in pain. It’s wild to think about though… He had his new hip put in on Monday, released from hospital on Wednesday, and today, Thursday, he’s at his first appointment to get him back on his feet. (Horrible pun intended) I think b

Whenever I’m having an off day, it tends to read alllllll over my face. I don’t just mean just the “blahs” of not feeling good but the overall sugar spikes and roller coasters can be seen on my face. I swear people can see the track marks from the bus that just hit me. My one manager in particular is a champ at calling me out on it. I rarely ever tell anyone at work what my numbers are, or how my day is going diabetes wise because, well? Frankly it doesn’t matter. I’m there t

You feel the haze start to come over you. It starts at the top of your brain and it’s almost like you can see the shade being pulled down. Slowly, you feel your body start to feel heavy. Sluggish. Your mind is now foggy and as much as you try to sort out your thoughts- you just can’t. Everything somehow feels….grey. Your vision gets fuzzy and nothing is making sense. People are talking to you and you don’t know what they’re saying. You feel yourself fall deeper. You’re slippi

I’m that really annoying diabetic who will get mad at you for telling me I can’t eat a bowl of Mac n’ cheese and then make sure I’m drinking diet soda. People always seem to assume I’m trying to make some point when I do this. But that’s not the case!! Let me explain: To me, carb counting is second nature. I could (and probably do) count carbs in my sleep, bolus with my eyes closed and most times be a-okay. Buuuuuuut I, personally, don’t do as well when we’re talking sugar s

Over 19 years ago I got handed a war. I was given the ultimate challenge and told if I didn’t fight, every single day, for the rest of my life – I wouldn’t just  lose that war. I would lose my life. Over 19 years ago I accepted that my life would no longer be the same. No, I wasn’t happy about it. Yes, I had days and weeks of denial. No, I didn’t want to fight and there are days when I still don’t. But yes. Yes, I continued to prick my finger. Take the syringe and plunge it i

Well, the inevitable happened- had an ER visit this past Monday. It was back to business as usual for me – sugar spiked for no apparent reason, I did bolus, waited, rechecked – still high. We’re talking 400s high. Which means we’re also talking “I-feel-like-I’m-about-to-fall-over high” since (thankfully!) I hadn’t been like that in a while. So right off the bat, I was thankful I was no longer used to that feeling and I was mad because… well – it was completely kicking my boot

I call my kids (yup. Plural. Our little man came early!) “jellyfish”. It started when our daughter was in utero and WOULD NOT STOP MOVING. it felt like she had 82648262 legs and I was convinced I was going to give birth to a jellyfish. Plus, I’ve always loved aquariums and jellyfish and seahorses have always been my favorite so it was fitting. Then about the time I was about to give birth to our daughter I saw the quote “do no harm but take no sh*t”. Hellooo perfection. My mo

I know everyone has em. Whether it’s having a rough day at school or work, getting screwed over on something or… the diabetic blues. Yup. I think that’s a thing. In fact I know it is. I try my best to put on my game face every morning and not let my chronic, invisible disease get to me. But, I’m human. And on days where my numbers aren’t making sense and when I know I’m 100% on my diet, drinking my water and testing my sugars and I STILL can’t get my sugars regulated – it ge

I hate it. I’m not good with numbers. I don’t like numbers. I want words. Sentences. Paragraphs. Something I can see and understand and even recite back! I can punch the same phone number 6x in a row and not remember more than the first 3 numbers. Couldn’t tell ya why. I’ve just always been that way. Then, the other day, my husband, Moony was getting Ollie ready for me. I reminded him I needed 125 units in the pump, not 100 since we’re pregnant (SURPRISE!) and I always need m

Recently, I had to go to the ER. (That’s a whole other story that involved Altitude Sickness. That was fun, stay tuned) When I got out, I jokingly made a comment to someone who obviously didn’t know me very well, how nice of an ER it was! (It really was! Go Yampa, CO!) After the confused look faded from her face, she asked me how many times I had been in the hospital. Well, I didn’t even count that visit as a “hospital” since, after all, I didn’t get admitted. I had only been

I’ve been through some weird stuff in my life: Weird hospital stays, met with weird doctors, even some really odd medical tests. But, never before had I ever had to do a “24 urine test”. This made all the other weird encounters, now somehow seem more…normal. lets back up shall we? ((I can talk about it now since our daughter has since been born)) I was pregnant. I had suffered two miscarriages before and so my doctors were being extra pre-cautious. Apparently extra pre-cautio

Nope. Not a chance in hell that you’re about to read a political piece. Not no way. Not no how. Buuuuut, I am watching the Inauguration. I have my baby on my lap, a pump on my boob, Sushi on the back of the couch pretending to be a cat, and Mac on hip staring at “his” baby. While I’m sitting here I wonder what Obama is thinking and am wondering if it’s the same feelings I have when I leave Chewy once a week (with her daddy) to go grocery shopping. (Yes, that’s my weekly ventu

I haven’t posted in forever. Fooooreeeevvvveerrrr. Sorry! Life has been nuts! In a nutshell- since my last post, I’ve gotten married to Moony and we’ve had a little baby girl! A human one! So in the next week or so, I’ll be flooding this with things I had written before the pregnancy, during, and now after! Don’t worry, it’s not all prego related but I realized while being all waddly and carrying around our baby, that I didn’t really have anywhere to turn to (beside my drs of

I’m a firm believer in and preacher of “no one ever promised fair”.  Point blank. But sometimes even I sit there like “you’ve got to be kidding me universe!” As of said before I was the poster child for anti-pump living. “Was” being the key word there. Now, as I stare at my pdm screen reading; I’m furious. Legit, furious. Let’s back up a smidgeybit and paint the scene: It’s Saturday. A HUGE day for the car industry. I’m not feeling that great. As I sit at my desk after our

I am a caffeine addict. Yes, addict. I used to bribe my dad to buy cases of SF Monster or SF Red Bull, and I’d be having at least 2 a day….plus my couple cups of coffee. It really wasn’t healthy. Or smart. Or practical. But what I’d always say was “If that’s the worst thing I do- I think I’m okay” Which- I still believe to be true. I don’t drink much, don’t smoke, drug freeeeee (except my insulin =D ) So yeah, caffeine is my crutch. (Though I have slowed waaaayyyy down) I wen

Ever had someone say something to you that made you so mad that you vowed to never forget it for the rest of your life? Not to harbor bad feelings, not to make yourself feel worse, and sure as hell not to relive that day and the emotions…but to remind yourself that you will never let anyone make you feel like that again. A couple weeks ago at work I got told I was the “biggest disappointment of 2015“. After my big head-honcho boss told me this, I sat for about 2 second before

About a month ago, Moony and I got a puppy! Meet General Macallan Cheese! (I call him Mac n’ Cheese) In addition to having the puppy around, I’ve been trying to test my sugars more, see my doctors more and really stay on tippy-top of everything betes related. Needless to say, this all has added some time and stress to my day. The extra testing has put some strain on my wallet as well since strips are so danged expensive! But we do what we have to do right? Juuuuust like this